Aunty Jack Show Rejects
The success of the Aunty Jack Show, as well as the militant nature of its members, has proven to be something of a motivational force to a number of Horde Members. Numerous individuals have all attempted to join the Aunty Jack show, only to be rebuffed by the terrifying leader; while the Guild's recruitment policies are well known, few realize that in addition to following those guidelines, potential members of the Aunty Jack Show must meet its leader's strict standards. As a result, there are a number of individuals who have all, at one time, attempted to join the Aunty Jack Show and been rebuffed. Regardless, many of those individuals strive to impress the guild with their abilities, seeking another chance to join the ranks of what they see as an elite organization within the Horde. For the most part, Aunty Jack ignores these individuals; she is not known for changing her mind, and would be very unlikely to give a failed applicant a second chance. However, several mean-spirited individuals delight in encouraging them to continue their efforts, and derive pleasure from watching them fail and run the risk of dismemberment. At present, there is no real organization amongst these individuals; in fact several of them compete against each other for Aunty Jack's attention. Ironically, they would probably be more effective if they got over their obsession with Aunty Jack and instead formed an organized guild of their own. Apparently, at some stage, the thought did occur to some of these would-be members. Forming up into a group, they marched to the Wrath Gate to fight alongside the Aunty Jack Show. Their idea was to demonstrate their collective prowess to Aunty Jack at what would hopefully be a pivotal battle in the war against the Scourge, and, as such, be allowed to join. Unfortnately, matters did not go as planned. Billy Bob Grimtotem Billy Bob Grimtotem is a Tauren warrior attempted to join the Aunty Jack Show. In spite of his strength and skill, Aunty Jack turned him down because she "doesn't like Grimtotems". Billy Bob was killed at the Wrath Gate, cut down by Scourge forces. Falbala Bloodfang Falbala Bloodfang is a young Troll shaman. In past, she was the leader of a small group of adventurers, but they broke up in relatively short order. The only notable achievement of her organization was her introducing Malebranche (Then a member of her guild) to Will DeBeest. She also knew Zar'na, the latter of whom thought that Falbala reminded her of someone, but she couldn't think who. While nominally a healer, Falbala seemed to profer weapons and armour better suited for melee combat. She made an attempt to join the Aunty Jack Show in the past; however, it appeared that the guild's leader somehow got her and Vel'nar confused. Aunty Jack told her to "quit fooling around and pretendin' to be a Shaman" or else she'd "rip her bloody arms off". Since then, while she has joined another guild, she does have ambitions of one day being a part of the Aunty Jack Show. Falbala vanished duiring the battle of the Wrath Gate; it was assumed that she died of Scoruge, however, she recently turned up in a differnt guild under an apparent assumed name. Gottrieb Robertson A Forsaken warrior, Gottrieb Robertson volunteered to lead an expedition into the Plaugelands. Unprepared and overwhelmed, he fell in battle, only to have his body reclaimed by the Scourge. Transformed into a Death Knight, he managed to free himself from the Scourge again, renewing his loyalty to the Horde and specifically Sylvannas Windrunner. Aunty Jack was initially wary to accept him; while she knew that he had renounced his links to the Scourge, she still disliked Death Knights and Forsaken. Doing some research into his past, however, she discovered that he'd volunteered to head into the Plaugelands simply to get away from his girlfriend becuse he had a fear of commitment. Seeing this as a key character flaw, she told him to get lost, or else she'd rip his bloody arms off. Many members of the Aunty Jack Show approved of this approach, simply because they didn't want to think about a Forsaken having any sort of romantic relationship. Gottrieb apprently surivied the battle of the Wrath Gate; he recently turned up in the same guild as Falbala Bloodfang, apparently doing his best to avoid her. Hugh Gibbs Hugh Gibbs is a Forsaken Mage who claims to have been a court mage to king Teneras Menethil in life. He wasn't. In fact, he barely passed though his schooling and was about the last in his class. One of his teachers commented that he would make either "a sub-par mage or an adequate doorstop", and it was in the former role that he was employed, acting as a dogsbody to various other researchers, and spending his spare time fetching research materials. Unlike many other Forsaken, Hugh retains most of the memories of his former life, which results in his low self-esteem. He talks up his previous life in the hopes that nobody remembers enough to call him on it. Unfortunately, Aunty Jack saw through his bluff, resulting in his making a swift departure from her presence. Hugh was killed at the battle of the Wrath Gate. Jeffery Stoat-Ermine In life, Jeffery was a minor Lordaeron noble who spent his days riding around the countryside on his prized horse, beating on peasants and inadvertently inciting a socialist movement amongst them. Falling victim to the plague, he eventually managed to regain his free will and join the forsaken. Since then, he has fought a never-ending crusade to reclaim his family's estates, which are deep in the Plaugelands. While a reasonably capable warrior on his own, his ego and belief in his own importance tends to get in the way of his judgment. It was this trait that saw him rejected - and almost violently dismembered - during his interview with Aunty Jack. Convinced of his own superiority, he essentially suggested that he should be given a position of command within the Aunty Jack Show, and that they should immediately try to liberate his home. He left the interview in a hurry. Ironically, it was Jeffery who organised the Aunty Jack Rejects into a coherent force and lead their assault on the Wrath Gate, mainly as a way to ingratiate himself to Aunty Jack. Instead, he was the first to die, crushed by a Vrykul zombie. Koobine Greengrass Koobine Greengrass is a Tauren Hunter who managed to exclude himself from the Aunty Jack Show. Stubborn to the point of insensibility, he will continue to argue a point long after he has run out of evidence to support his claims, even when he has been proven wrong. He refuses to listen to any suggestions, and cannot be dissuaded from an existing stance, no matter how illogical it may be. At the same time, however, he will openly mock anyone who disagrees with him. It was these traits that saw him be rejected from the Aunty Jack Show; after he disagreed with Aunty Jack about a number of points, he continued to argue with her. Eventually, he only barely left the interview with all his limbs attached. This scenario has been repeated again, and again with other guilds, to the point where he was reduced to wandering the Barrens advertising his presence. Ambushed by a group of Scoruged Quillboars, he was rescued by a passing Alliance patrol. Initially they were going to help him, but he managed to (in a fashion completely unprecedented nor ever replicated) instantly earned the Ire of its members (Anastasia Zogstra, Rhantanahhn Muravine, Napthara Firestarter, and Aishen Thornewood), two of whom have pledged his destruction if they ever see him again. He is accompanied by his pet raptor, Wally, or his Warp Stalker, Stompy. Most people who spend any time around Koobine come to the conclusion that the lizards are far more intelligent then he is. Koobine missed the battle of the Wrath Gate as he was too busy arguing with people. Lizza A young Troll priestess, Lizza came very close to joining the Aunty Jack Show only to be rejected because of her own decisions. A reasonably capable healer, Lizza's application was approved and she was made a provisional member of the guild. However, as soon as she was approved, Lizza chose to abandon healing in favor of concentrating on Shadow spells. Aunty Jack politely informed her that she was hired to be a healer, whereupon Lizza replied that she was going to stay how she was, regardless. Aunty Jack pointed out that Lizza also sucked as a Shadow Priest and she had a far better one already. Lizza decided to stand he ground. This resulted in Lizza being forcefully ejected from the guild. Since then, she has bitterly complained to anyone who will listen about how Aunty Jack "didn't appreciate her" and "stabbed her in the back". As a result, some in Ogrimmar have taken to betting on how long it will be before Aunty Jack rips one of her arms off. This outcome was averted when Lizza joined the forces amassed at the battle of the Wrath Gate; she was killed by Ghouls who dismembered and ate her. Mex Mex has made numerous attempts to join the Aunty Jack show in past, and has been rebuffed every time. On at least one occasion he has spied on its current members, trying to catch them out and gather evidence he can use to prove not only that they are breaking her rules, but that they should be thrown out of the guild and replaced with him. This has not worked so far. In fact, Mex has come just shy of dismemberment by Aunty Jack for his stalking her followers. Unfortunately for the Aunty Jack Show's members, having your arm ripped off and being beaten with the soggy end is not a terrible punishment for a Forsaken who has to remember to count his fingers every morning to make certain none are missing. In true Mex style, he survived the battle of the Wrath gate; pulling a deralicct gas mask from his bag of stuff, he fled and buried himself in the snow until it was all over. Mirar Albion Mirar Albion was a Forsaken warrior who claimed to be a "lost princess" of Lordaeron. However, unlike Hugh Gibbs who was making up a life story in order to make himself seem better, Mirar may have genuinely believed that she was, in fact, Princess Caria Menethil dead and reborn as a Forsaken - even though she clearly wasn't. More to the point, she beloved that she was the rightful ruler of Lordaeron and that Sylvannas, as leader of the Forsaken, was an usurper. This attitude got her laughed out of the Aunty Jack Show in seconds. At some point afterwards, she was killed (and eaten) by Mex, apparently on Deathstalker orders. Mortaz Headstone Like Mex, Mortaz has made numerous efforts at getting into the Aunty Jack Show, claiming that he has "the right stuff", and being more then willing to demonstrate his ability to reduce chunks of the landscape to smoking craters. He's also claimed that, as an added incentive, he could clean up Aunty Jack's workshop. So far, she has rejected his applications on the ground that she "already has an unimaginative fire mage". He has persisted, however; fortunately for him, her rejections are yet to become violent. Mortaz fought at the battle of the Wrath Gate; he managed to escape by blinking across the landscape untill he became hopelssly lost in the middle of Dragonblight. Ironically, the events at the Wrath Gate worked out in his favor; in its aftermath, he was inducted into the Aunty Jack Show as a provisional member. Sharya Felheart Sharya Felheart is a young Orcish Warlock who is convinced that her "mastery" of Demonology will be enough to convince Aunty Jack to break her ban on hiring Warlocks. So far, it hasn't worked; that Sharya is rather young and irresponsible doesn't seem to help matters, nor did the way that she followed Aunty Jack around like a bad smell for several days (Being thrown through a wall eventually put an end to that idea). Despite that setback, Sharya is still obsessed with Aunty Jack, seeing her as being some sort of an idol. To her, joining the Aunty Jack Show would be the greatest moment of her life, as it would allow her to fight alongside her second-greatest hero. In her spare time, she writes stories where a (very) fictionalised version of Thrall falls in love with her and makes her the "Queen of the Horde". Sharya was killed at the battle of the Wrath Gate. Zar'na At some point while drunk, Zar'na filled out an application form for the Aunty Jack Show. However, her questionable literacy and inebriated state left her application largely illegible. The fact that she threw up on it probably didn't help. As a result, she never even made it to the interview stage. After she sobered up, Zar'na lost all interest in joining the Aunty Jack Show. In retrospect, had she managed to get into the Show, she probably would still be alive. Zu'gokk Zu'gokk is a Darkspear Troll rogue who is seen as something of an expert amongst the shadier parts of Ogrimmar's community. A master of stealth, he is said to be able to get into and out of any place without being detected, leaving no sign of his presence. It is also said that he is deadly with his blades, and a master of quiet, quick deaths. In past, he has bragged that he could easily take out any of the Alliance's leaders; he hasn't simply because nobody has yet offered him enough money to make it worth his while. On several occasions, Zu'gokk has attempted to join the Aunty Jack show. However, on each occasion, he has met with an oddly-timed accident either just before his meeting or while demonstrating his skills; he's fallen off (or through) roofs, he's tripped and fallen on out-of-place objects, his intended targets have become aware of his presence and so on. Each time, this has lead to him being turned down for a place in the Aunty Jack Show. Oddly enough, while various members of the Aunty Jack Show will attend an interview, Upchaak has never been to one of Zu'gokk's. Every time the Troll has been scheduled for an interview, Upchaak has had to abruptly leave on "urgent business". Zu'gokk was at the battle of the Wrath Gate; however, he was able to escape the battle. Since then, he has been working with a somewhat second-rate guild, but still has ambitions to someday join the Show. Gallery of Aunty Jack Rejects Image:billybob.jpg|Billy Bob Grimtotem Image:falb.jpg|Falbala Bloodfang Image:robby.jpg|Gotrieb Robertson Image:stoaty.jpg|Jeffery Stoat-Ermine Image:greengrass.jpg|Koobine Greengrass Image:lizza.jpg|Lizza Image:mexs1.jpg|Mex Image:mortyn2.jpg|Mortaz Headstone Image:mirar.jpg|Mirar Albion Image:sharya.jpg|Sharya Felheart Image:zugokk2.jpg|Zu'gokk Category:Characters Category:Horde Category:Articles by Darthfish